All The Little Lights

«You are all just perfect little satellites, spinning 'round and 'round this broken earthly life»

I'm standing here, ever so lonely. But it's a good kind of loneliness - I have my thoughts. And this song that makes the world around me more real.

I stand nearly between two dimensions, the wind blowing me from one side to the other. Of the edge.

The night sky hovers above me, dark and pure; the air, icy, cutting me like a sharp glass - but I don't mind it. I actually smile, because the night brings my life to this intermittent, peaceful and steady place where I am right now. 

All I see is the little lights, yellow, green, red and orange - they are only blurry dots of light, so alive. They whisper to me, inaudibly, only I can hear them. Like a gentle caress on my cheek. No one else around me seems to notice.The city lights guide me home, they point where to go and I silently thank them. They are always here, when I don't even know I need them. 

It's all those little lights that give me an overwhelming sense of purpose, of happiness. In some moments, I can almost feel the earth setting into it's right place, when life seems so incredibly delicious, so amazingly perfect, despite it's flaws. And in breathing in and out, I exist. Just by breathing, by believing that my hope isn't lost, that there are still those precious, fleeding moments that chaos cannot destroy. 

I understand it's so much bigger than me, the whole picture. I'm just a tiny detail. It's about so much more than this moment we're in. Everything matters, in those moments. You don't get to relive them ever again - once it's lost, it's lost forever. 

All the little lights fill me with warmth, with a jolt of joy that I can't describe. One of the most real things I've felt. I wish it could last forever. One of these days, it will...